So. Tired.
It's only been a week.. n i'm feeling the drain.
2 calls so far, next one on tues. I must say the calls here have been alright so far, compared to what I hear from ppl working in *another busier hospital in S'pore*.
I got a needlestick on my 2nd call. Drat. I spent an hour at ED waiting to get my blood taken (when I can do so myself). My first needlestick ever. A fellow HO got one too last week. Even when I was gloved. Oh well. Everyone tells me YOU MUST BE CAREFUL.
I KNOW!! It's just not worth it.
Oh I also discovered the wonders of caffeine for a caffeine-naive person like myself. Try it.
.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Long Long Journey
Today's prolly the last time we wd go back to NUS as medical students, attending lectures, listening to the Dean address us as students, and all that stuff. Come Friday, it wd be starkly different. Enter the working world. I'm energised and raring to go, and I hope it stays this way for as long as possible. Well..even if it's for 2 days lol. MY first call's on Sunday, dunno if it's a good or bad start.
It's been a long journey. Thankfully not alone.
Ppl I've got to know in the process.. wonderful ppl. Great frens. Inspiring mentors.
To be honest, I only started to enjoy & find meaning in what I'm doing in the later years of med sch. To be able to offer a comforting word to a worried patient, to give simple (hopefully correct) advice to frens/relatives/family, to understand myself better, to mature as a person in many many ways.
Rite. Enough of the big talk. Back to reality.
Weekend calls are depressing shit. When I told my mum the Sunday call is from 8am Sunday to 8 am Monday, she didn't get it.
"Oh 12 hours.. normal rite?"
"No.. it's 24 hours"
I forgot to mention to her that normal Monday working hours continue from 8am onwards.
I'll always complain about calls, cos I can't stand calls. There are several factors:
1) Fear that I can't cope with all the work - actives + passives
2) Fear that I dunno the appropriate management
3) Fear that I'm too slow
4) Fear of my 1st collapse
5) Fear that I do something wrong - either due to carelessness, or fatigue, which brings me to the last point, ...
6) Not being able to function the next day!! Most impt. The day doesn't end with the call, you know. It's only starting. I rem falling asleep while standing during morning rounds during SIP. THat's real bad. Everyone realised only when the ward list landed on the floor, from my hands =p
Then again, in spite of all the complaining (I will STILL gripe and complain), I know that the more calls I do, the more exposure I'll be getting, the more I'll learn, the tougher I'll become, and the more comfortable I will be handling crazy cases in future.
I chose this department. When I did CSFC there in year 3, I never thought the good impression I had back then would translate into this. Ha. Amazing isn't it.
Wish me luck.
Song playing is 补梦人 by 潘裕文.
Today's prolly the last time we wd go back to NUS as medical students, attending lectures, listening to the Dean address us as students, and all that stuff. Come Friday, it wd be starkly different. Enter the working world. I'm energised and raring to go, and I hope it stays this way for as long as possible. Well..even if it's for 2 days lol. MY first call's on Sunday, dunno if it's a good or bad start.
It's been a long journey. Thankfully not alone.
Ppl I've got to know in the process.. wonderful ppl. Great frens. Inspiring mentors.
To be honest, I only started to enjoy & find meaning in what I'm doing in the later years of med sch. To be able to offer a comforting word to a worried patient, to give simple (hopefully correct) advice to frens/relatives/family, to understand myself better, to mature as a person in many many ways.
Rite. Enough of the big talk. Back to reality.
Weekend calls are depressing shit. When I told my mum the Sunday call is from 8am Sunday to 8 am Monday, she didn't get it.
"Oh 12 hours.. normal rite?"
"No.. it's 24 hours"
I forgot to mention to her that normal Monday working hours continue from 8am onwards.
I'll always complain about calls, cos I can't stand calls. There are several factors:
1) Fear that I can't cope with all the work - actives + passives
2) Fear that I dunno the appropriate management
3) Fear that I'm too slow
4) Fear of my 1st collapse
5) Fear that I do something wrong - either due to carelessness, or fatigue, which brings me to the last point, ...
6) Not being able to function the next day!! Most impt. The day doesn't end with the call, you know. It's only starting. I rem falling asleep while standing during morning rounds during SIP. THat's real bad. Everyone realised only when the ward list landed on the floor, from my hands =p
Then again, in spite of all the complaining (I will STILL gripe and complain), I know that the more calls I do, the more exposure I'll be getting, the more I'll learn, the tougher I'll become, and the more comfortable I will be handling crazy cases in future.
I chose this department. When I did CSFC there in year 3, I never thought the good impression I had back then would translate into this. Ha. Amazing isn't it.
Wish me luck.
Song playing is 补梦人 by 潘裕文.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Saturday, December 01, 2007
1st Salary
'This is probably the best news of the lot! Yes, the basic pay for House Officers will be increased to a whopping $2,690 (up from the old rate of $2,460) with effect from January 2008. With this increment you can now fly first class to Bangkok or maybe spend a night or two at the gorgeous Raffles Hotel or perhaps just chill out over beer and sausages at Cafe del Mar! Indeed, the extra cash will certainly be handy no matter what plans you've got. One step closer to your dreams, perhaps? :) You know, we too are delighted with this news for it is certainly a positive endorsement of our *** belief in competitive remuneration and our *** culture of rewarding hardwork and performance. Happy Spending (when you are at *** earning your 1st salary)!'
Well, $230 minus CPF isn't exactly a lot, but I guess it's better than nothing. (Not like $2K plus is a lot to begin with! Really..) And I thought HOs across the hospitals get the same pay, regardless of which cluster. Just that the wording in the announcement seemed to suggest otherwise.
Just a couple more weeks to go. Focus alvin, focus.
Dunno why clinical test I tend to spout things I dun mean. Called Cortico Bulbar dissociation la. haha. Young malay lady becomes middle-aged chinese lady. Immediately after I said that, I stunned myself, but I stunned my examiner and other ppl listening even more.
'This is probably the best news of the lot! Yes, the basic pay for House Officers will be increased to a whopping $2,690 (up from the old rate of $2,460) with effect from January 2008. With this increment you can now fly first class to Bangkok or maybe spend a night or two at the gorgeous Raffles Hotel or perhaps just chill out over beer and sausages at Cafe del Mar! Indeed, the extra cash will certainly be handy no matter what plans you've got. One step closer to your dreams, perhaps? :) You know, we too are delighted with this news for it is certainly a positive endorsement of our *** belief in competitive remuneration and our *** culture of rewarding hardwork and performance. Happy Spending (when you are at *** earning your 1st salary)!'
Well, $230 minus CPF isn't exactly a lot, but I guess it's better than nothing. (Not like $2K plus is a lot to begin with! Really..) And I thought HOs across the hospitals get the same pay, regardless of which cluster. Just that the wording in the announcement seemed to suggest otherwise.
Just a couple more weeks to go. Focus alvin, focus.
Dunno why clinical test I tend to spout things I dun mean. Called Cortico Bulbar dissociation la. haha. Young malay lady becomes middle-aged chinese lady. Immediately after I said that, I stunned myself, but I stunned my examiner and other ppl listening even more.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Stumbled on this..
I've always held the principle that you can do anything you like, as long as you're not stepping on someone else's toes. The law is there for such a purpose, and NOT an arbiter of moral standards.
And so what if your gay neighbours are screwing each other at home? This doesn't stop you from eating, shiting, sleeping, or screwing, does it?
I've always held the principle that you can do anything you like, as long as you're not stepping on someone else's toes. The law is there for such a purpose, and NOT an arbiter of moral standards.
And so what if your gay neighbours are screwing each other at home? This doesn't stop you from eating, shiting, sleeping, or screwing, does it?
Friday, October 19, 2007
Stress stress stress
Really feeling the heat now. Medicine posting. It's not a very nice feeling to have. I MUST STUDY MORE!! But no time!! Simply too tired when i reach home. I have dinner and pop straight to bed. Sometimes not even switching on the com.
HOW?!
I really value my sleep ok. I need good sleep. haha. as evident from my zombie like state post-calls.
Really feeling the heat now. Medicine posting. It's not a very nice feeling to have. I MUST STUDY MORE!! But no time!! Simply too tired when i reach home. I have dinner and pop straight to bed. Sometimes not even switching on the com.
HOW?!
I really value my sleep ok. I need good sleep. haha. as evident from my zombie like state post-calls.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Serenity
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
And I'll be happy.
Dunno if it's playing in the background. From Mi Lu Bing's album. Cost me $17.50!! I haven't bought a CD in a long long time cos i always dl n if i buy i'll buy parallel import, but MLB is local band so... NO parallel import. Yesh..too bad.. but i'm willing to fork out the money cos they're really good.
Thanks ppl for your bday wishes. They're appreciated.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
And I'll be happy.
Dunno if it's playing in the background. From Mi Lu Bing's album. Cost me $17.50!! I haven't bought a CD in a long long time cos i always dl n if i buy i'll buy parallel import, but MLB is local band so... NO parallel import. Yesh..too bad.. but i'm willing to fork out the money cos they're really good.
Thanks ppl for your bday wishes. They're appreciated.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
A new equilibrium
At some point in time, you just snap out of it. I guess I have. In addition to being so numb to everything, anything, and anybody. My reaction to everything is now "hmm. ok lo." I dun like the present me. But i dun care anymore.
At some point in time, you just snap out of it. I guess I have. In addition to being so numb to everything, anything, and anybody. My reaction to everything is now "hmm. ok lo." I dun like the present me. But i dun care anymore.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Move on, alvin
Hard. So hard.
I'm sentimental by nature. And can't help being so emo at times. Been shoving everything inside.. n i think the dam is gonna break real soon. I dunno how much more i can hold back..
Used to think i can function like a robot. My life has all along been a matter of what i ought to do, over what i want to do. Even when i dun like it.. i just psycho myself. Proved myself wrong this time. Not a robot. Things would be so easy if i were one.
It's useless. I'm flooded by all the thoughts every time i have time to pause.. which is often enough. I'm beginning to dread the 2 week break after paeds. Just me n my thoughts - bad combination.. the emptiness is searing.
Starting paediatrics on mon. I know time will zoom past. I hope it does.
Hard. So hard.
I'm sentimental by nature. And can't help being so emo at times. Been shoving everything inside.. n i think the dam is gonna break real soon. I dunno how much more i can hold back..
Used to think i can function like a robot. My life has all along been a matter of what i ought to do, over what i want to do. Even when i dun like it.. i just psycho myself. Proved myself wrong this time. Not a robot. Things would be so easy if i were one.
It's useless. I'm flooded by all the thoughts every time i have time to pause.. which is often enough. I'm beginning to dread the 2 week break after paeds. Just me n my thoughts - bad combination.. the emptiness is searing.
Starting paediatrics on mon. I know time will zoom past. I hope it does.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Should I be happy?
I should. Can't ask for a better team n better ward to be working in.
It's the second week into SIP. Pretty fine so far.. I'm with a nice team. Nicest team I've ever encountered in my lowly being as a medical student haha, from HO to consultant. Great cg mates. Should really count my blessings. Starting to get used to doing HO work like discharging, transcribing imr, procedures..though not a lot to do actually, since the doctors are all on the ball and complete their work promptly. My procedures suck! It's erratic. On good days I can set plugs n take bloods first time, every time. Today was bad. Failed everything n had to retry n reretry. Perfect way to screw up your nite call when you're a HO.
Did my first call last tues. BAD! It came to a point when I was just too exhausted, physically, and faced with the long list of procedures to do, patients to see, etc... and I looked at my watch..ONLY 9PM!!?? impossible.. n the work is just..never ending.. That had to be the lowest point of the nite. Only went postcall at 2pm next day. I was a walking zombie during ward round.. actually dozed off while standing. And I slept throughout the entire HO teaching session..argh how to survive next year.
Going on call again tmr. Dreading it. Haha. Well.. I wanted to be busy, did I not. How contradictory. The busier the better.. even a minute of not doing anything is anguish.. a permanent affliction. God.. just take my heart away, so that it can't hurt anymore.
I should. Can't ask for a better team n better ward to be working in.
It's the second week into SIP. Pretty fine so far.. I'm with a nice team. Nicest team I've ever encountered in my lowly being as a medical student haha, from HO to consultant. Great cg mates. Should really count my blessings. Starting to get used to doing HO work like discharging, transcribing imr, procedures..though not a lot to do actually, since the doctors are all on the ball and complete their work promptly. My procedures suck! It's erratic. On good days I can set plugs n take bloods first time, every time. Today was bad. Failed everything n had to retry n reretry. Perfect way to screw up your nite call when you're a HO.
Did my first call last tues. BAD! It came to a point when I was just too exhausted, physically, and faced with the long list of procedures to do, patients to see, etc... and I looked at my watch..ONLY 9PM!!?? impossible.. n the work is just..never ending.. That had to be the lowest point of the nite. Only went postcall at 2pm next day. I was a walking zombie during ward round.. actually dozed off while standing. And I slept throughout the entire HO teaching session..argh how to survive next year.
Going on call again tmr. Dreading it. Haha. Well.. I wanted to be busy, did I not. How contradictory. The busier the better.. even a minute of not doing anything is anguish.. a permanent affliction. God.. just take my heart away, so that it can't hurt anymore.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Now.. defunct
Before I met you,
I was soulless and wretched,
Merely breathing to sustain this meaningless existence,
Not for myself,
But because I have no choice.
Dejected, doleful, bleary.
Seeking to fill that emptiness,
Guardedly accepting any kindness,
Telling myself it may just be an illusion,
Or an ephemeral joy.
Until you came.
You gave me life.
For you, I continued this existence.
To see you every day.
To make you smile.
To laugh with you.
To listen to your troubles.
To make your sorrow mine.
Just to be there.
For you.
With you.
You are the only reason I have,
And the only I need.
Nothing is insurmountable
As long as you are around.
You are all that matters;
Nothing else does.
Thank you for your kindness.
Now you are walking away.
My world is gone,
For you mean the world to me.
You are etched,
Though I am just a footprint
That will soon be washed away.
Tormented, languished, defunct.
Back to being a corpse,
Only that I am no longer seeking
For you can never be replaced.
Please be happy.
Before I met you,
I was soulless and wretched,
Merely breathing to sustain this meaningless existence,
Not for myself,
But because I have no choice.
Dejected, doleful, bleary.
Seeking to fill that emptiness,
Guardedly accepting any kindness,
Telling myself it may just be an illusion,
Or an ephemeral joy.
Until you came.
You gave me life.
For you, I continued this existence.
To see you every day.
To make you smile.
To laugh with you.
To listen to your troubles.
To make your sorrow mine.
Just to be there.
For you.
With you.
You are the only reason I have,
And the only I need.
Nothing is insurmountable
As long as you are around.
You are all that matters;
Nothing else does.
Thank you for your kindness.
Now you are walking away.
My world is gone,
For you mean the world to me.
You are etched,
Though I am just a footprint
That will soon be washed away.
Tormented, languished, defunct.
Back to being a corpse,
Only that I am no longer seeking
For you can never be replaced.
Please be happy.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Yea. What am I doing on a saturday afternoon.. Licking my own wounds. Once again, S.H.E saves the day.
I have you to be with. Everything will be easy.
曬的陽光 淋的雨滴 都值得回憶
I have you to be with 才懂心不夠近才怕距離
心電感應 絕不斷訊 會如影隨形
曾灰心以為 我來錯了世界 太多想法很另類 找不到人瞭解
當我說的感覺 牽動著你的臉 互動的淚 讓我們變得特別
你是我的魔力 想要勇敢就想你 一眨眼睛 把不如意 都變成流星
你是我的魔力 心情不好我就想你 刪除憂鬱 複製甜蜜 笑容不結冰
It stings.
I think I'm more certain right now. I know where I'm heading. I know what I'm doing. I know what I want.
I have you to be with. Everything will be easy.
曬的陽光 淋的雨滴 都值得回憶
I have you to be with 才懂心不夠近才怕距離
心電感應 絕不斷訊 會如影隨形
曾灰心以為 我來錯了世界 太多想法很另類 找不到人瞭解
當我說的感覺 牽動著你的臉 互動的淚 讓我們變得特別
你是我的魔力 想要勇敢就想你 一眨眼睛 把不如意 都變成流星
你是我的魔力 心情不好我就想你 刪除憂鬱 複製甜蜜 笑容不結冰
It stings.
I think I'm more certain right now. I know where I'm heading. I know what I'm doing. I know what I want.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Back
I wonder if anybody bothers to come to this page at all. I may just quit blogging altogether. It can be quite draining to sift thru all your thoughts and put them into words, especially if they're not particularly happy ones. And there's the eternal question of what to censor and what to publish.
Nepal has been an experience, and a much needed break. I wrote a journal every day there, but simply too lazy to transfer it here. Shall just let the photos do the talking. http://community.webshots.com/user/alvin_wang There you go. Oh yea. Ugly photos of me too hah.. cos i can't be bothered to delete them one by one. Dennis' video of the trek at youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0G4loqIea8
First, the hospital elective. 4 weeks there. Supposed to do rural medicine, but turned out that they don't have much of a rural med programme. Ended up doing general med instead. Not bad at all. I'm just glad i din waste my 4 weeks there... as in, at least we learned new things, despite being slack.
Next, the trek! 8 days trek from Pokhara to Jomsom. Me, nicholas, shermin, winston, and wanyi and her 8 other dentistry frens. Really enjoyed it. Some of the views were truly breathtaking. Had great company. They're all a fun lot. But i realised after this that the next time i'm looking for a holiday destination, it'd have to be city places like taipei or tokyo. i'm not really the type to appreciate phewa lake, annapurna mountains, the grand canyon, or niagara falls..
Finally, bangkok. Pure shopping. And back home. What I miss most - my long shaggy hair haha.
Ok supposed to write something else but.. lazy.
I wonder if anybody bothers to come to this page at all. I may just quit blogging altogether. It can be quite draining to sift thru all your thoughts and put them into words, especially if they're not particularly happy ones. And there's the eternal question of what to censor and what to publish.
Nepal has been an experience, and a much needed break. I wrote a journal every day there, but simply too lazy to transfer it here. Shall just let the photos do the talking. http://community.webshots.com/user/alvin_wang There you go. Oh yea. Ugly photos of me too hah.. cos i can't be bothered to delete them one by one. Dennis' video of the trek at youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0G4loqIea8
First, the hospital elective. 4 weeks there. Supposed to do rural medicine, but turned out that they don't have much of a rural med programme. Ended up doing general med instead. Not bad at all. I'm just glad i din waste my 4 weeks there... as in, at least we learned new things, despite being slack.
Next, the trek! 8 days trek from Pokhara to Jomsom. Me, nicholas, shermin, winston, and wanyi and her 8 other dentistry frens. Really enjoyed it. Some of the views were truly breathtaking. Had great company. They're all a fun lot. But i realised after this that the next time i'm looking for a holiday destination, it'd have to be city places like taipei or tokyo. i'm not really the type to appreciate phewa lake, annapurna mountains, the grand canyon, or niagara falls..
Finally, bangkok. Pure shopping. And back home. What I miss most - my long shaggy hair haha.
Ok supposed to write something else but.. lazy.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
kao. Felt like i just ran a long long marathon. It's the fourth year of mugging non stop for 3 weeks, and I'm quite sick of it.
The monotony of staying at home, the sickening all too familiar feeling of despair when you have tonnes left to study and only so little time, the way my clock is screwed up topsy turvey and how hard it is to turn it back to normal, and of course, the pimples.
And with that, year 4 ends.
The year 5s are having a tough time now. Can't imagine myself like that next year. Ah well.
For now, it's planning for nepal trip!! I hate planning. And apparently there are some doubts about the reliability of the agent I approached for the air tix. Someone else's tix were 'cancelled' for no reason. Gonna cross my fingers and call tmr to be sure. Yeah gonna be away for 6 weeks, and the tentative choice of elective is rural med. But I suppose they're quite flexible and mebbe we'll get to try anything we like over there. See how. And on the way back since we're transiting at bangkok we'll just stay for 2 or 3 days. First time to these places =p
I think I'm hooked to youtube. Haha. Especially all the taiwan idol dramas. Oh yes, like hana kimi. Haha i like it a lot. Finished it on youtube before they showed on tv. A lot of fantasy in the plot and I guess that's the draw. And they can act!
Busy busy.. gotta take vaccinations, apply for visa, call agency, book hotels, change $$.
Movie review - Taiyo No Uta (Midnight Sun)
Caught this with yq way back..er..can't rem when. Hah. Touching story. This girl has xeroderma pigmentosum. So she can't stay out in the sun. She sleeps in the day, and only goes out at night. Sad life huh. Anyway the actress is Yui, who's also a singer, and she sang the theme song for the movie. Good voice, pretty, and can act. Haha but she's only released a few singles so far. Will be looking out for her.
My level 1 jap class is ending soon. Test this thurs (argh test again). Dunno if i shd continue, probably might, cos i've only learnt peanuts.
The monotony of staying at home, the sickening all too familiar feeling of despair when you have tonnes left to study and only so little time, the way my clock is screwed up topsy turvey and how hard it is to turn it back to normal, and of course, the pimples.
And with that, year 4 ends.
The year 5s are having a tough time now. Can't imagine myself like that next year. Ah well.
For now, it's planning for nepal trip!! I hate planning. And apparently there are some doubts about the reliability of the agent I approached for the air tix. Someone else's tix were 'cancelled' for no reason. Gonna cross my fingers and call tmr to be sure. Yeah gonna be away for 6 weeks, and the tentative choice of elective is rural med. But I suppose they're quite flexible and mebbe we'll get to try anything we like over there. See how. And on the way back since we're transiting at bangkok we'll just stay for 2 or 3 days. First time to these places =p
I think I'm hooked to youtube. Haha. Especially all the taiwan idol dramas. Oh yes, like hana kimi. Haha i like it a lot. Finished it on youtube before they showed on tv. A lot of fantasy in the plot and I guess that's the draw. And they can act!
Busy busy.. gotta take vaccinations, apply for visa, call agency, book hotels, change $$.
Movie review - Taiyo No Uta (Midnight Sun)
Caught this with yq way back..er..can't rem when. Hah. Touching story. This girl has xeroderma pigmentosum. So she can't stay out in the sun. She sleeps in the day, and only goes out at night. Sad life huh. Anyway the actress is Yui, who's also a singer, and she sang the theme song for the movie. Good voice, pretty, and can act. Haha but she's only released a few singles so far. Will be looking out for her.
My level 1 jap class is ending soon. Test this thurs (argh test again). Dunno if i shd continue, probably might, cos i've only learnt peanuts.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Me
84. lives in a place unheard of and drivers avoid. nel is the best addition to my life. loves school. loves food. hates upgrading.
Duh
no more exams. this is what life should be like, except for this thing called a call.
Reads
Previous Posts
- So. Tired.It's only been a week.. n i'm feeling th...
- Long Long JourneyToday's prolly the last time we w...
- Very very unproductive.I stone more than I do anyt...
- 1st Salary'This is probably the best news of the l...
- Stumbled on this..I've always held the principle t...
- Stress stress stressReally feeling the heat now. M...
- SerenityGod, grant me the serenity to accept the t...
- A new equilibriumAt some point in time, you just s...
- Move on, alvinHard. So hard.I'm sentimental by nat...
- Should I be happy?I should. Can't ask for a better...
Archives
- 12/2003
- 01/2004
- 02/2004
- 03/2004
- 04/2004
- 05/2004
- 06/2004
- 07/2004
- 08/2004
- 09/2004
- 10/2004
- 11/2004
- 12/2004
- 01/2005
- 02/2005
- 03/2005
- 04/2005
- 05/2005
- 06/2005
- 07/2005
- 09/2005
- 10/2005
- 11/2005
- 12/2005
- 01/2006
- 02/2006
- 03/2006
- 04/2006
- 05/2006
- 06/2006
- 07/2006
- 08/2006
- 09/2006
- 10/2006
- 11/2006
- 12/2006
- 03/2007
- 06/2007
- 07/2007
- 08/2007
- 10/2007
- 12/2007
- 01/2008
- 04/2008
- 05/2008
Blog Design By: BlogSpot Templates
