Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Long Long Journey

Today's prolly the last time we wd go back to NUS as medical students, attending lectures, listening to the Dean address us as students, and all that stuff. Come Friday, it wd be starkly different. Enter the working world. I'm energised and raring to go, and I hope it stays this way for as long as possible. Well..even if it's for 2 days lol. MY first call's on Sunday, dunno if it's a good or bad start.

It's been a long journey. Thankfully not alone.

Ppl I've got to know in the process.. wonderful ppl. Great frens. Inspiring mentors.

To be honest, I only started to enjoy & find meaning in what I'm doing in the later years of med sch. To be able to offer a comforting word to a worried patient, to give simple (hopefully correct) advice to frens/relatives/family, to understand myself better, to mature as a person in many many ways.

Rite. Enough of the big talk. Back to reality.

Weekend calls are depressing shit. When I told my mum the Sunday call is from 8am Sunday to 8 am Monday, she didn't get it.

"Oh 12 hours.. normal rite?"
"No.. it's 24 hours"

I forgot to mention to her that normal Monday working hours continue from 8am onwards.

I'll always complain about calls, cos I can't stand calls. There are several factors:
1) Fear that I can't cope with all the work - actives + passives
2) Fear that I dunno the appropriate management
3) Fear that I'm too slow
4) Fear of my 1st collapse
5) Fear that I do something wrong - either due to carelessness, or fatigue, which brings me to the last point, ...
6) Not being able to function the next day!! Most impt. The day doesn't end with the call, you know. It's only starting. I rem falling asleep while standing during morning rounds during SIP. THat's real bad. Everyone realised only when the ward list landed on the floor, from my hands =p

Then again, in spite of all the complaining (I will STILL gripe and complain), I know that the more calls I do, the more exposure I'll be getting, the more I'll learn, the tougher I'll become, and the more comfortable I will be handling crazy cases in future.

I chose this department. When I did CSFC there in year 3, I never thought the good impression I had back then would translate into this. Ha. Amazing isn't it.

Wish me luck.

Song playing is 补梦人 by 潘裕文.